Some quotable highlights from a recent NYC trip

So yesterday I spent the day in NYC with my best friend Paul, a self-descirbed "calvinistic renaissance Paul Bunyan", and Nick, an old friend from elementary with an extremely high aptitude for adventure and physical activity. Here are some quotes (some of which are memories re-quoted.

"remember that time i peed here?" - Paul, standing on the Bridgeport Bidge

"I love lamb rump" - Paul, as we are eating gyros

"you guys are right, this whole place is really impressive especially looking down from here (The Empire State Building), but you know, it isn't that impressive if you think that if someone injected me with enough meth and gave me all the legos in the world, I could probably do this" - Me

"Dude, watch it. Eddy Curry hides out here" -Me/Paul

"Nick, how'd you get up there? - Paul, upon seeing Superman halting a truck in midair in Toy'R'Us

"The first thing I'm investing in NY is a lint roller" - Nick

"Dude, that'd be an awesome job. Hey, I'll watch your house. I'll walk your dog. I'll do your dishes. I'll vaccuum. I'll do your laundry. I dont care. I live in your house. Sure, I'll take your kid to school. I'll take him to baseball practice. As soon as I'm done doing your laundry, I'll even teach him how to hike. I LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE." - Nick, on housekeeping

Nick- I love cleaning. But my dorm room - my vaccuum, the tube is this small. And i don;t have any attachments, so it takes me forever to vaccuum. And then the guys come in and don't take off their shoes, and its like you know?
Me - Dude, that small? Thats like having a guy with emphesema suck up the dirt on your rug with a coffee stirrer

Nick - Wanted: housekeeper. Must be legal
Black girl on cell phone across the train - OBVIOUSLY

Me - Nick, does that ad say "Merchandise for sale: Baby boy?"
Nick- Yes.

Lady in front of me getting into bus - (whispered) Lift me up.
Me- what?
Lady- Lift me up.
Me- Uhh...
Lady- I have a leg problem, help me up..
Me- Oh sure no problem

"Dude, all I'm saying is, with that haircut, you look like a dude. like a dude dude. like if you dressed in armor, Id follow you into battle" - Paul to me