Well this is awkward. I mean, this whole blogging thing- I'm not really talking to someone, but I am, yet if I introduce myself I'm basically introducing myself to myself and well, let's face it, I think we have enough trouble trying to figure out what "self" is nevermind figuring out why we have private ownership of it at all. I won' tell you everything about me, because, well, that'd just be silly and wouldn't allow any buildup now would it? Anyways, I wouldn't want to spoil myself for me, I'm a captive fan after all. But here's some snippets to keep you occupied:

I eat the green shit inside of lobsters. It's actually their livers, and its a delicacy too.

I can do the weird three leaf clover thing with my tongue, but I can't touch my nose with it or anything like that.

In Kindergarten we had this kid Jared in our class, and when he had to move his Mom wrote a letter and sent it to their mailbox that said he was getting recruited by the Power Rangers and had to go away. He was king of the playground for a long time after that. I still wonder sometimes if he ever defeated Rita and her putty men.

I think Ahhnold, Stallone, Bob Dylan, Mushmouth from Fat Albert, Animal the Muppet, Steven Segal, and Ozzy should all co-star in a movie together, not because I'm a big fan of any of them (well, except Animal), but I think it'd be great to have an American movie with english subtitles.

I come from a medium sized town where we are known for 3 things: we invented Naugahyde, everyone's favorite leather substitute, the apocolyptic part of War of the Worlds was filmed here, and we have the highest rate of testicular cancer in the country. Glad to say I've only taken part in one of these, I'll let you guess which one.

I like reading.

Especially people.

I tend to have two general affect on people- I either make them easy, or really creep them out.

I've had a very interesting life so far- but like I said, not giving away too much yet. In fact, no one save two or three people know my whole story, including myself. I only do tell the whole thing when I feel the person I'm telling's perspective of me will change as little as possible, or if I a supposed to.

I used to go to this diner when I was a kid (well actually I still do), and the owner/chef Billy used to always say he was going to throw me in the dumpster. One day he actually did. It was awesome.

I saw my first dead body when I was 6. Well, really I geuss it wasn't a whole body, but part of a dead body still counts as a dead body I think

Sometimes I spell grey g-r-e-y. but sometimes I spell it g-r-a-y. I'm still waiting for Crayola to get back to me.

I like the song "Africa" by Toto, but Ican only listen up to the second verse and then hafta fast forward to the chorus, 'cause i hate the line "Kilamenjaro rises like Olympus above the Sarenghetti" Toto, come on. It's a simile, you can't say the mountain is rising above like another big mountain. That's liek me saying "This Chips Ahoy is as crunchy as a Tollhouse". 

I think we are all secondary characters in one big continuos novel. Problems start to occur when we see ourselves as a titles character, an antagonist, protagonist, whatever. 

And it's very interesting to see how the novel brings us around, for example take these facts:

A boy scout troop is founded in 1913 as Troop 2, 2 years after the BSA is founded.

A mailman delivers the newspaper at 7 am to a half-shaved 60 year old

A 4 year old boy somehow survives and electrical shock due to trying to "fix" an open light socket.

A teenage girl goes out on a date with a teenage boy, then decides to ditch him for another

A woman finally has her second child after 7 miscarriages, and 1 baby who did not survive more than 1 day.

A 3 year old girl is tossed off a porch into her house by her father while a gas grill explodes 4 feet away.

Now what you probably wouldnt know-

The four year old boy is the last child of the mother, and is named "Matthews" meaning "gift of god" rather than "Nathanial"

After the electrical mishap, the boy spends his morning before kinder garten with the 60 year old half shaven man, his grandfather.

The grandfathers son is the boy's father, and the teenage boy who was ditched by the teenage girl for the other man

The other man and teenage girl end up married and give birth to another, James, who, through the boy scout troop, (now Troop 102, not 2), which is headed by the aforementioned family, meets and becomes brothers with his counterpart, the dicthed boy's son.

The 3 year old girl is the mailman's daughter, named Morgan, though her mother calls her "emma". Eventually, the girl would date the boy, who's grandfather had his mail delivered to him by her father while taking care of the boy.

This relationship would begin 5 years after the boy, after many failed attempts to date a crush, had hoped to find "his emma".

All I'm sayin is, I find coincidences very hard things to believe in.

Well, I geuss that's enough for now. Tootles.

"Things just keep getting curioser and curioser" - Alice