Bridges & Balloons: Napkin Lit.

So today I decided to put a little blueprint I had bouncing around my head for awhile amongst other things I may or may not eventually get to before that whole death thing happens. (and yes, I used he phrase "bouncing around" on purpose- my consciousness is kind of like one of those big bounce things you get for little kid parties - collapsable, powered by a vacuum, vivid, wildly out of context, and full of bumbling, awkward little things and overdeveloped thoughts wasting time).

Anywho, back to the plot-

So yea, I decided to go out and start executing this whole idea I had about getting whatever egg was on face from previous things off, just so everything could be plowed down and settled so things could grow. So first off, I walked 25 min down from my house to the local Wal-Mart to get some scrubble-bubble wipes and perhaps some white cranberry - peach juice (which is freaking amazing btw, definately have new respect for cranberries for not ruining great fruit in the peach) and to see if my ex-girlfriend (from like 4 or 5 years ago, I've been in love with another girl for the past 1+ years) was working. On the way I stopped by two old friends houses, but as usual this summer, neither were home nor were they returning my calls.... I talked to one of them's brother, little Eddie. I had given him my drumset this year after he had beat cancer (can't spell it but heres a shot- lukeimia?). His sister, my friend, has been dating on and off with one of my best friends from scouts, and I haven't heard much from either of them since.

So, back to Wal-Mart. So I get there, say hi to a kid who went to high school with me and who I think is now condemned to eternal employment at Wal-Mart, spent about 5 minutes figuring out what kind of scrubble bubble wipes to use, and then went to go check out wal-marts crap ass cd collection. Walking out, I thought I saw her (ex-girlfriend, not eddie or any previously mentioned characters), but this girl had long hair in pigtails, so I did the safe thing and gave a dorky head nod, then, with no reaction, I thought I had once again said hi to someone I have never met before (which happens quite often - once I even hugged a guy thinking it was an elementary friend Brandon. Yeah, that on was a hard one to get out of.... not like you can say "Oh, no I met to do that, you looked cold") so I kept walking. Then her keys hit me in the ass and she was like "Jeesh just gunna walk by me without sayin hi?"

Since this is being read by stranger hopefully, I am very quick with sarcastic comments and wit- but regular conversation and the like are a little above me sometimes.

This needs to be explained because of my response, which was as follows:

"afloodyschullfepshflagg... uhhh"

oops.

Luckily, people are used to me mumbling and randomly bursting into scats, so only I noticed. So yea, she was going on lunch, so i was cool... said she as reading the bible cause it kept her sane while working here. Then I got distracted by what I a woman I can only compare to one of the Dr. Seuss characters from "There's A Wocket in My Pocket", the things that are in the closet i think, the big bird type things. Seriously, this woman was like a foot taller than me, blond, mid-life, curlers in, and some weird ass green foam thing sticking vertically out of her skull, and I'm 75% sure she was wearing her kid's model of the solar system for earrings.

Then I snapped back from Salamasa (the setting of Yertle the Turtle for those who don't know) and realized she was waiting for me to say "see ya" after she had apprently said bye since she was halfway down the aisle now. So I did.

Then as I turned back to pretend to be interested in some $20 censored Rage Against the Machine album, I saw through my peripheral that she was looking back at me. I don't think she was checking me out, since 1) she has a boyfriend, 2) she knows I have a girlfriend, and 3) I think I ahd just confused the crap out of both of us.

So, I picked up a 3 disc Pavarotti cd for $5 and was about to check out when symbolism struck me.

Napkins. I was cleaning up my "mess". genius.

So I went to the Dunkin' Donuts inside Wal-Mart (always thought this was funny - a high fat, unhealthy snack inside a corporate giant's greedy tummy) , grabbed a napkin, and went to go find Jay, the kid perpetually stuck with that jauntis smiley on his vest. I borrowed a pen for him, and wrote my apology on it- basiclaly saying I'm sorry if I had ever confused her/hurt her during our 2 week "relationship" back in Sophmore year, and that I hadn't met too if I did, I just really didn't know what I was doing at all when it came to relationship stuff. (No seriously, I had no idea - when we broke up, I think the only words I said during the phone call was "uh... I don't know", inlcuding when she asked "do you think we should break up?" - like I said, not very keen on the conversation thing).

So i folded the napkin, gave it and the pen to Jay, told him she as on lunch and to give it to take a break from re-alphabetizing the prescription drugs before he got any bad ideas and to give it to her for me. Then I used the machine clerk to check myself out (I looked mighty fine may I add), and walk back home uphill.

Then my old basketball coach, Mr. Renzoni, saw me trekking up Indian Hills and gave me a ride. I liked this too, because the last time I was sitting with Mr. Renzoni, it was when he put me into a wheelchair after I hurt my knee at a basketball game.

Next up I plan on going tomorrow to another friends house unsuspected. Then maybe I'll tackle the big one.

Or maybe I'll just rent a big bounce.

Speaking of napkins, did you know Harry Potter was originally written on cocktail napkins? You know how may fucking cocktail napkins that would be????

Here are the books I have read so far this summer:

Sellevision, Augustin Burroughs

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Sir Douglas Adams

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Sir Douglas Adams

So Long, And Thanks For All the Fish, Sir Douglas Adams

Mostly Harmless, Sir Douglas Adams

Young Zaphod Plays it Safe, Sir Douglas Adams

The Complete Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Grimm Brothers

The Lord of the Flies, William Golding

Musicophilia, Sir Oliver Sacks

"I dream I don't know anybody at the party, but I'm always the host

If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts"