Eyes

Our eyes meet, and I have to look away. It's like looking directly at the sun. For a moment we're both transported back to a year ago, feeling things we put in the past. Those eyes tell a story, now I can't even look that story in the eyes without wanting to run and hide. Or is that wanting to run and hide in your arms? The moment is fast, and I can barely manage to utter a few words in reply to your meaningless hello. Or is it full of meaning? Searching, once again, for signs that I feel are there. If I just dig deeper I'll understand what you really feel. What it all really meant. Were we as much as I thought we were? You leave me feeling clueless once again. Our relationship is demolished to an awkward series of "how are you"s. I turn my defenses on, afraid of what your eyes are telling me. Of what my heart is telling me when it looks into that place where our connection is held. For a moment I feel we both know each other, that we are one thought. 

The moment is past, and I'm left with my scrambling thoughts. I can barely remember anymore what it felt like to feel that connection with you. I'm lost for words to describe the feelings. All I know is that I'm frustrated and confused. I long to know more. I fear the knowing. Just another twist in the plot. Another dent on the road to somewhere. You have the inexplicable ability to keep my head rambling long after you've gone. Rambling on tangents that get me nowhere. Words that go unsaid, as always. Rambling on..and on..and on. When will it stop?

Sorry that was a bit morose :p I was just trying to sleep, and these thoughts kept floating through my head (More like pounding at my skull), so I decided the best way to finally get some sleep would be to write it down. Which I could have easily done on some paper, I guess, but now a little bit of my soul is bared for the general internet public. Kind of cool, no? :) Or extremely frightening. Whichever.

Happy August!